While there are so many ways that individual people might define trauma, it's worth considering what the word means when it's used by a counsellor or psychotherapist.
One approach to defining trauma uses 3 E's:
Event Experience Effect
Trauma "results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening, and that has lasting effects on the person’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being."1
So while two people might live through the same event, they both might not experience it as harmful and have the lasting effects. Or perhaps they do experience it as harmful but don't both have the same lasting effects. It's a very individual impact.
Because of this, it's really important not to assume that something one person experienced without effect would be the same for another person.
Trauma "results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening, and that has lasting effects on the person’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being
The effect of trauma is wide ranging. Sometimes it can be very physical impacting sleep issues, chronic fatigue, stomach distress, and racing heartbeats.
Trauma also impacts how someone thinks of themselves, perhaps feeling dirty, unworthy of being cared for, deserving of the abuse, or as though they should be treated poorly.
Relationships are impacted often too. Hypervigilance (always being on edge) impacts the body, emotions, and relationships as the person is always experiencing a stress response and looking for potential threats.
Spiritually, trauma survivors may feel unworthy of God's love, like they can't pray or read scripture, they may struggle to feel close to God, and feel a strong sense of dissonance between God's love and their own experience in the world.
Trauma can impact people in huge ways. But it doesn't have to stay that way.
If you'd like to learn more about trauma, check out my book recommendations.
I also have other posts on trauma including one on using EMDR therapy to help heal.
1. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. “SAMHSA’s Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach” (emphasis added).