Have you ever been to a beautiful formal garden? Sheffield Botanical Gardens are a great example if you’re local.
Botanical gardens are such a good example of boundaries. Think of it: what makes the botanical gardens particularly beautiful?
There are gardeners doing excellent work cleaning, nurturing, caring for the flowers and plants.
The floral borders, the rose garden, the grassy paths, the stone walls and beautiful gates that close each evening…
Part of what makes the botanical gardens beautiful are the boundaries.
The boundaries of an ornate flowerbed are beautiful, where flowers nestle next to grass and make a intricate designs. The boundaries of a stone path that says gently, "walk here and see the beauty." The boundaries of a beautiful gate that you can see through, but not access in certain times when the land rests and recovers. The stone wall that keeps out intruders and keeps the land secure. Boundaries are beautiful.
If you come into the botanical gardens and dig up roses and step all over the tulips, you’ll be asked to leave. It's part of what keeps the gardens beautiful.
I think people are a little like the botanical gardens. We need boundaries to maintain the beauty, dignity and growth of our lives. Some boundaries might need to be those stone walls with no visibility inside or access to the space. But other boundaries will be like the gate, visible inside but not access to impact the space directly. Still other boundaries will be like the garden path saying "this is good for me" or the floral border which allows someone to come close enough to enjoy (or maybe even do some weeding and planting!).
Many of us are taught that boundaries are bad. Or we only know how to have the stone wall kind of boundary. But there are so many ways to draw boundaries. And good boundaries can make a space so beautiful. Good boundaries can make your life so beautiful.
Just like the botanical gardens would ask someone to leave if they are trampling on the tulips, we sometimes need to ask for the same when people in our life are seeking to destroy the dignity God has given us as his children. But rather than closing the gates to everyone, at all times, forever, we can consider person by person (and perhaps after a season of closing the gates to allow the soil to recover) what boundaries are right, for each relationship, each season and each event.
You are worth caring for. Boundaries are a way of showing that to yourself and others.