So you’re about to start counselling. Well done on having the courage to start.
As you get started, let's think about what might make this time the most impactful. How can you get the most out of counselling? Here are a few tips to help you make the most of this time.
1. Find a counsellor that’s a good fit for you
Research show that up to 70% of counselling outcomes come down to the relationship you have with the counsellor.
So if you don’t like the counsellor or you feel uncomfortable with them, you won’t get as much out of the time you spend, no matter how good their insights are!
If you feel like your counsellor cares for you, you're more likely to have positive change in the time you're meeting together. That's why a good fit is so important in counselling.
Having a counsellor who is a good fit for you means that you know what you can expect in counselling with them. While every counsellor should show empathy to the people they meet with, if you're a Christian, you might find that having a counsellor who understands your faith worldview can be helpful in understanding you as a person.
My frist experience of counselling was terrible because the counsellor wasn't a good fit for me. But just because you've had a bad experience before doesn't mean that your next experience in counselling will be the same.
2. Choose and believe counselling can help
You have to be willing to engage with the work of counselling in order for it to be helpful.
People who come to counselling because someone else is making them come (even if well intended) will not get much out of counselling. You need to choose to come on your own. I will only take clients who chooses to come of their own accord for this very reason (it’s ethically important!).
If you’re going into counselling super skeptical of whether it’s going to work, it probably won’t work for you. You’ll spend the time looking for flaws or issues in the therapy and not looking for ways to grow and change yourself. Counselling changes lives. But only if you choose for it to do so.
3. Do the work outside of the room
Most of life takes place outside of the counselling room. If you really want things to change, it's important to take what you learn in counselling and apply it to your life outside of therapy. A good recipe for recovery includes community.
Perhaps that means changing the boundaries you hold with friends, family or your time. Or taking time to stop and breathe before making decisions. The biggest changes in life happen when you apply what you learn.